Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
he had hair everywhere except his balls
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
