Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
