well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
