Sponge bath it is.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
