Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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