I wish I could punch you in the face.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Randomize
