This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
