turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
