were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
