And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
there's paper in my vomit.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
