The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
