I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
