so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
