Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
