So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
