You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
