we're blogging at a bar
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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