Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
