that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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