I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
