So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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