12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
