so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize