So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
