I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
where does the pee come out of this thing
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
