Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
