We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
