just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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