Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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