How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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