remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
