Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
