i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
