he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
