so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
