found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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