He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
