It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
