i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
