Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

Please, let me fuck your mom

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(775): View more from Nevada

I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.

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(813): View more from Florida

I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.

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(636): View more from Missouri

trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.

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(904): View more from Florida

my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.

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(515): View more from Iowa

We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.

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(406): View more from Montana

your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster

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