Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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