is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
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