I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
