she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize