i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize