You're completely useless in the revolution.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
