Its about making memories worth repressing
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
