Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
