Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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