if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
