I hate all girls vehemently.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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