Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
