I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
