I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
