Kiss
Puke
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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