Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
