I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
