I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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