just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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