There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
