Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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