Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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