DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
