i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
