I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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