im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
