Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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