What a fucking waste of an outfit
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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