covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
